Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
