Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
