we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
