Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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