I just cut my nipple shaving
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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