You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
