I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
