nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
