I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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