So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
