my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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