it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
