just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
