is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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