I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
