Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
