Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
