my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
