he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Let's paint friendship bongs
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
