Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
