i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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