Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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