just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
