So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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