I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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