Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize