She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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