If i come over, it means nothing
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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