I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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