let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
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