no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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