So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
