She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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