is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She bit a glass in half.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
