Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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