Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
