In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
