my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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