are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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