its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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