I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
