you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
its not stalking. its research.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize