I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
how drunk are you?
Several
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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