Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
