I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
