just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
