I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Operation Purity has been aborted
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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