CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
