Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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