I haven't been this sober since birth.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize