Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize