Define "chronic" masturbator.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize