Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
