I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
