Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
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Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
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I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.