Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
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im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.