I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
