Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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