Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize