So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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