we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
