So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize