the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
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at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
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just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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